CLSxAU17: Non-violent communication for diffusing charged situations clsxau17_nonviolent_communication

  # TOPIC: Non-violent communication for diffusing charged situations

How to have conversations around difficult situations, such that people don't feel attacked or take things personally... including nonviolent communication techniques.

## SITUATIONS

A spectrum from negative feedback to mediation to ejection, in environments from open source projects and online communities to teams within companies

* providing negative feedback
* addressing pests
* mitigating toxic behavior, ejecting bad actors
* communicating around power dynamics
* building healthy and effective teams

## PREVENTING CONFLICT

* Codifying positive and negative behaviors via Contributor Guides and Codes of Conduct
* Keeping the good of the project/the team front and center
* Creating a sense of safety
* Humanizing people, truly getting to know each other and empathizing

## RESOLVING CONFLICT

* Finding similarities and then exploring the differences to add more nuance and nix the "us vs them"
* Being vulnerable and acknowledging that someone might not be doing so well
* Confronting issues face-to-face or with rich media such that we don't lose body language, facial expressions, etc
* Finding what's *not* being expressed so that we can find what truly needs to be addressed
* One-on-ones and retrospectives
* Staying calm and curious rather than escalating

## RESOURCES

* [System-Centered Training](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Systems-centered_therapy)
* [The Five Dysfunctions of a Team](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Five_Dysfunctions_of_a_Team)
* [Crucial Conversations](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crucial_Conversations:_Tools_for_Talking_When_Stakes_Are_High)
* [Nonviolent Communication](https://www.amazon.com.au/Nonviolent-Communication-Language-Life-Changing-Relationships-ebook/dp/B014OISVU4)
* [The Update, The Vent, The Disaster - Rands in Repose](http://randsinrepose.com/archives/the-update-the-vent-and-the-disaster/)